Men and the way Life goes....

So I haven't been blogging in awhile because I have been moderating a discussion on facebook. But I came over to let everybody who doesn't read facebook know whats happening and whats up.
So I didn't make homecoming this past weekend because my car broke down and I was stuck in Mobile, but I took the time and learned some Gross Anatomy instead.
So the topic of conversation today is:
Have you ever been in a situation that made you appreciate a past situation so much more?
I was in a situation like that just the other day, so some of you may or may not know that I don't have sex, which has been a major point of contention in the majority of " relationships" that I have been in. But this weekend the guy that I have been dating recently showed his natural born ass. I mean we are not in a relationship but he wants all sorts of things and some of those things are things that I just don't do and I have never done, and may never will. But he comes out with all this crap and then proceeds to ask me "why does everything have to be my way?"
WTF!!!!
For one nothing we have ever done was only beneficial to myself. So how was everything my way?
Anyway.... that situation is over because I refuse to compromise myself for the craziness, but I started thinking about all the times and the things that I put "Z" through because I was sticking to my ideals, and I realized how much he was giving me. How understanding he was of the situation and how he refused to pressure me into doing anything that I didn't want to do.
So now I'm hurting a little because I feel like in a small ways I was missing all the little things that were really important and now it is too late to apologize and say that I was wrong. ( I'm a big girl ... I can admit that)
And I was definitely wrong in that situation..... So I'm feeling lousy.
But I did get rid of the creep-of-the-week and I don't feel bad about that at all.
Well I need to get back to studying Biochem..... Talk to you later
Peaces.

It's official........

I need a new car....
I am tired of having to find a ride to class when I own my own vehicle...... this makes absolutely no sense that I can't get a new car. My mother won't help me because she thinks that the car that I have is perfectly fine, and she doesn't think that I need a new bill.
but please...... everyone and their mothers can tell that I need a new car ( or a slightly used car) that is not going to break down on me with a turn of the hat.
My current car decided to break down at the worst time.
1. the day before a test..... how was I supposed to get to class to take my test (luckily I have good friends)
2. I was supposed to go to homecoming this weekend, but now with the car out of commission I won't be going
3. I am tired of spending money on repairs.... in the last 4 months I have spent almost $500 on parts and another 200-300 on repairs when you add up all the little things.

I just think that I blew the down payment for my new car fixing the old one and really nothing has been repaired that really need to repaired like the windows, the locks, the sunroof, and the rims ( although the rims are not essential).

To add insult to injury I had to go spend about 3 hours today getting my tag renewed. All I could think about was I was resigning myself to this situation for another year... then I get to the window and the lady takes my check and she asks me for my place of employment...... when I told her that I was currently unemployed ( which I have NEVER had to say before since I was old enough to work) she had the nerve to give me this look like she wasn't going to take my check then she writes unemployed on the check and asks me for a bunch of other information that I don't even think they need.
I was embarrassed and more than a little upset. But I got the tags renewed and I was out an on my way to class.
So the next dilemma that I have is that my mother had me wait until I was unemployed and can't get financing for a car. ( I think this was part of her plan)
But I vow that after the first of the year I will be driving a new car and I won't have the problems that I am having right now with my vehicle.
OK.... that is enough of my vent session.... back to your regularly scheduled program.......

The test......

Well it's official I passed my Devo test...... now it is time to prepare for the other two tests that I have this test block...
Hopefully my car will get fixed and I will be able to go to Homecoming this weekend.....
Everybody pray that these things will be possible......
Peaces

After the Test let Down......

I know everybody feels it.... you have studied for days to take a two hours test and after the test you just want to crash...... Right now I feel like falling over and doing nothing for the rest of the day. But I can't because my car decided to die last night so I am stranded here at the school until I can get a ride home, I also can't go to sleep because we have lab later on today for Gross... and today I would really not like to go to Lab.
I am tired of preparing for test.... I feel like my whole life is one big test preparation. No breaks just preparing for the next test.... and then my brain hurts.... I think I am going to have an aneurysm before I finish this year.. ugghhhhh..... This is just a rambling expression of my disgust with my life right now... I wish someone could save me from myself.
And the saga continues........................................................................................

Inspirational Thought for the Day......

With everyone praying over test and various stresses I thought that this message would be of some inspiration to a number of people who read my blog and my notes. I was directed to this quote from the movie Akeelah and the Bee because this quote inspires me. I hope that it uplifts you.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~ Marianne Williamson

So my friends take this inspiration and go and let your light shine for others to see so that they may do the same. And should you forget or doubt just ask yourself, " Who am I not to be?"

Rainy Days in Mobile

I had forgotten how rainy days in Mobile make me feel. I don't want to get out of the bed and I really don't want to do anything for the entire day whether the rain stops or not. I was in my bed this morning and at first I didn't hear the rain so I contemplated getting out of the bed and going to class. So I decided to roll back over and go back to sleep, at the time I didn't know that it was the rain thinking for me. So around the time to go to my second class of the day I wake up and I still don't want to get out of the bed, but I can't miss two classes in a day so I roll over and get out of the bed. I am still confused as to why I don't want to get out of the bed. I get my things together and I head out of the front door. Only to be slapped in the face by the cold ( because you know when it rains the temperature outside drops) so I turn around and I grab a jacket then I head out into the world. So I get into my car thinking that the rain had stopped because I didn't feel it falling out of the sky although I could see that the world was wet. But after I clear my windshield I notice that the water is returning. Meaning that it is still raining and I left me umbrella in the house but I don't have time to go back in and get it so I pray my way to school hoping that when I get there the drizzle will have stopped. But as you can imagine my luck is not that great this morning and the rain only got harder when I got here. So I put on my jacket, grabbed my bags and made a mad dash to the door of the building with flip-flops on. So here I am sitting in class with damp bangs and praying that the weather has gotten better since I have been in class because I am starving and I have to make a food run when I get out of class........ ohhh

First Testing Experience on the Computer.....

We took a practice exam today on the computers for our Gross class. I was really disappointed in the layout of the software. It was very generic and you couldn't annotate or highlight in the program. I don't know what the experience is going to be like when we have 100 questions and they are questions that we haven't really seen before.
Pray for me because this next test is going to be difficult.
In other news I haven't had any sleep and I am slowly beginning to feel the effects. I was driving home today and the only thing that I could think about was "if I can only make it home" because I was just that tired behind the wheel. Add in the 90 degree weather and that just spells disaster. I need to go in the gross lab today but I really don't feel like even looking at that cadaver. My house is a mess and I can't even begin to reclaim it from my mother because I am dealing with studying for these test, so when this test block is over. I am going to throw away everything in that house, and she ain't going to like it.
Peace and Blessing I am tired of typing.