Today the world lost an Angel, and I lost my heart.
I can't stop crying and I can't move on. My Cousin died today. My world imploded today. He was my first love, not some boy off the street, but my cousin who looked out for me and was my light.
When I was little I cried for days when they would leave after they came for a visit, because while he was here I wasn't alone. I wasn't sad and I was happy. But when they left I was alone again, I was sad again. He was my pillar and every accomplishment that I made he was proud of. I wanted to quit when I heard the news.
I thought my year was over that there was no way to recover. I kept saying " I don't know what to do".
I really don't know what to, and I don't know that I can recover. How do you recover from this?
I will never be the same again, but I am expected to function like nothing happened.
How does the world lose such an amazing talent and not recoil, not shake, not end.
I look out my window and I wonder how people can continue with their lives when my world is crumbling, falling down around me.
I can't keep doing this.... I am so tired and I keep losing the people around me who genuinely love me and have my best interest in their hearts. The only thing that could hurt worse right now is if I lost my mother or my sister.
I am lost........
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