Ohhhh…. Jesus…..
I can’t be watching Madea. That one summed up my life in one segment. She was talking about how people come in your life for a season and for a lifetime. She was talking about some of the same things that I already know about, but I was forgetting that these were things that I really need to remember.
1. You have to love yourself in order for someone else to love you.
2. Everyone that you think your in love with is not the one for you.
3. And that sometimes you just have to walk away.
You know I was really lost to have forgotten things that I have told other people; also things that I learned the hard way once before. I think that I thought that this was a different situation. I have been thinking about “Z” lately. I wanted to reconnect with him because I invested a large part of my life and my soul into him. I lost myself in the situation. I thought that if I compromised more then he would find me more acceptable. Keshia Cole said it best in “Love” when she sang “ I used to think that I wasn’t wild enough” , I thought that if I let him in and allowed him a corner then he would see what he was searching for in me. I thought that if I changed myself then he would be happy and so would I, and even when it was over I couldn’t stop thinking that it was something that I did. I thought that had I given in then none of the things that happened would have happened. But to be frank they probably would have still happened because I wasn’t a “hood chick”. I didn’t want to do or be any of the things that he was looking for. I should have seen that, maybe I thought that the reason things happened to his ex’s was because of him, but now I know that they were just weak minded. Had they been of sound mind they wouldn’t have put up with his mess. He was able to talk them into the things that he did because they had no will. This was why I was such a challenge to him because I was not weak of mind. It’s sad but I had/have to let him go because he is still searching for something that is not me, and when he discovers that everything he could want was right here in me then it will be too late.
Madea also talked about moving on and not harping on your situation complaining that they don’t have a man or that they don’t have a relationship and I know that this is what I have been doing. I know that I don’t need a man to complete me, but I have moments where I lose sight of this fact.
I am going on a talking about relationship hiatus. I don’t need to talk about the blessings that I will reap because everything that is for me is already blessed. I could walk into these orientations and find my husband…. Hahahahaha.
Well since I am not going to talk about this subject anymore I recommend that you rent or buy Madea Goes to Jail. She has a lot of tidbits for the masses. It will make you laugh and cry and bawl. Not necessarily in that order. (There is also a white man in this movie, preaching like white men do.)
Do we see how blessing come when so unexpected. I was sitting in my room thinking about cleaning out my phonebook on my cellphone and I decided to watch this movie. I was also thinking about sending a teaching message to the aforementioned party and this play stopped all of that.
I think providence is working a mighty work on me, showing me things that I refuse to acknowledge in my own right.
Whew….. This has been a lot to get off my chest and I think that is why my post have been traveling in this thread for awhile.
So I will live you with this thought:
“If someone wants to walk out of your life….. let them go.”
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